What is my bravest moment?I'd have to say when I punched my mom in public. It started off with us at my sister's softball tournament. We were watching her play and having a normal conversation. For me and my mom, a normal conversation is it starting off nice then getting really heated near the end. Well this time, not only was it a bad place but also a bad time. I was a freshman in high school and was constantly being picked on for my size and voice. It was the weekend and my sister was in a tournament on a surprisingly nice day. Me and my mom somehow got into a conversation about girls and it started to become embarrasing so I asked if we could talk about something else. My mom asked me if I was into boys then because I asked to stop talking about girls. I was already heated at her so that blew my top. Now I could've taken that joke, but back then I couldn't handle my shit just yet. So to answer her question I threw a nice solid punch at her. I made connection and left a nice bruise. Surprisingly nobody did anything or said anything. It was so pleasing to do that though. I hit her right in her bad knee. We were sitting in the bleachers and I was one lower than her so she was lucky in a way. If we were on the same level bleacher it would've been worse. She did end up getting up to walk it off though. One of my knucles landed right in the joint of her knee making it a little more painful. Ever since then though, she's never hit me when I've gotten in trouble. So I'd have to say that was one of my bravest moments: Hitting my mother publically. (It was kinda funny though. Even she laughed)
I am, like most people (teens), a lot of things. Immature, annoying, some girls say I'm super sweet, but I'm also loud, temperamental freak, wierd, a bit of a asshole, and ugly. If I had a dollar for everytime someone (besides myself) called me ugly I'd probably be more wealthy than Trump. But now it's becoming short lived because, to all the guys who say I'm ugly...I know dumbass. I usually thank them for reminding me because I break every mirror and they walk away. But really the only reason I'm ugly is because I have braces and my face is zit central. Sure I don't have a great body but I'm working out for that too. So please don't tell me I'm ugly because I'm well aware dipshit. Things like that is why I've been an asshole too. I respond back to people with the same emotions they throw at me. But never to the ladies. I've been raised by parents who wanted a boy who treats women with respect and I've always gotten that because most the guys around my age are fuckboys. So I try to be as nice to girls as I can. But again treat me the way you want to be treated. Hell I am annoying, immature, loud (mostly because my hearing sucks), but that's only because I usually have a high-energy personality and I don't give a shit what most people think when I go nuts randomly. But temperamental? I can go from all smiles to I want to beat the shit out of whoever pissed me off in a second. It's this way though because of life at home. Over the years as I've grown up it's built up with my age. I don't necesarily agree with my mom on things about 99.99% of the time, and I tend to watch what my parents do because of how much they yell at me. I can't even talk to myself when I remembered to do something without getting into a heated argument with my mom. I forget to do something but come back to it later, my mom is furious. I don't talk loud enough just once I get a mom lecture. I get asked a question about what I need to do, then after mom yells at me to move faster as I walk to where ever I need to be. The list goes on, but as you can see I get most of this anger from my mom. Everyone at my old school would call me a temperamental freak because of my swift mood changes everytime someone picked on me. It's hell hearing it but it's true. Don't f*** with me. (Please) But I usually come back and try to make nice with whoever I got heated at. It's stressful but I'm used to it. Have a nice day :).
*Before you read this just know this is to my biological father, not the one I have now.*
Dear Dad, I just want to thank you for giving me a few of the biggest pieces of advice for life. For one I'll know to never ditch my kids and their mother when the kids are born (not that I would in the first place). That just shows (to me at least) that a guy doesn't have enough balls to be a family man, or just man in general. Another is to not deny the fact that a child is mine. That shit is so dumb. You taught me to have some respect for women. Honestly if a guy can't respect a woman he can just go f*** himself. You taught me a bunch by ditching me and Mom, but, as bad as it is, I honestly am kinda glad you did that, because if you hadn't a lot would have been different ("no shit Sherlock" haha). Yeah most kids who hear that their father ditched them when they were kids would probably be mad...not me. The feeling's mutual. It's your choice and I'm not going to try to make you do something to make up for it. That is your choice. Though it would be nice to meet you and maybe hang out for a day. And unlike most kids, I never got a chance to say I miss you or I love you when I was younger. I never get to say that we did father-son-time frequently. The only time we had that was when I was in the making, maybe when I was growing in the womb, and maybe when I was born but that's about it. Now back to mutual feelings, I don't hate you but if I ever meet up with you, it's starting with me giving you a nice, clean, throat punch. After that we can do whatever. If you've had any other kids though you best be taking care of them, because technically they'd be my siblings, and I'm protective about my family. I hope you've learned a lesson from ditching me and Mom. Oh before I forget, since you left Mom had trouble raising me and I ended up getting taken from her twice! The first time she came back for me when she was given the choice, but the second time came around and instead she went off and married some jackass who apparently is shitty with people, especially kids. You could've helped prevent that. You could've been a big help to keep our, what would've been, famliy togethter. You could've done a lot, but you were selfish and probably too scared to be a father (pussy) and ditched. Sorry to be hating but how can I love you if you were never there for us? I hope we do meet eventually, but until then, enjoy your life and talk to you soon. -Sincerely, Your would be son, Shawn If I was caught in a fire, honestly I would snatch my Martial arts bag. Why? It contains my uniform (it's a disgrace if one looses it), it also has my mouthgaurd and other protective matierials so I don't get unnecessary injuries, hand wipes because you need to clean up before and after entering the dojo, my Bible because we're a Christian group , and an extra pair of shoes (flip-flops). All these are key to being sucessful in my martial arts carrer. I do pla on becoming a Black Belt. Last time I entered a dojo the Sensei left for church reasons and I left with a Yellow Belt (Tai Kwon Do). If I left that bag in there I'd be without a uniform and money to buy a new one. though I doubt my Sensei would let me buy a new one without a couple hundred push-ups and a few explinations. HA! Just kidding! He's pretty nice for a Sensei. But it sounded good haha. That's what I would take so yeah. 😋
I remember being bat shit crazy
I remember being straight up lazy I remember being wild I remember being a true child I remember long road trips I remember my first fish I remember grandpa Chuck I remember believing in luck I remember avoiding naps I remember always having snacks I remember freshman year I remember making choices so damn queer I remember fucking up I remember always balling up I remember my first smoke I remember when it made me choke I remember my first greens I remember being one of those dumb ass teens I remember looking like a twig I remember bumming for a cig I remember quitting I remember it was weed I started hitting I remember being done I remember wishing life was fun I remember... I remember... I remembered. There's a time in our childhood life where we're told about the "scary" things that could happen if we swallow it. Some of these things are more unreal than others and are blown off, others seem so real, especially when you're 3 years old, that you get so scared you crap yourself. When the moment of truth comes and down it goes, time slowing as you forget about that tasty object in your mouth, absently, out of habit, mistaking it for food, sliding down your throat with late realization slapping you in your face. The time seems to have slowed to the pace of a death march, and then it's done. You have triggered your worst fears of gum. There goes a perfectly good life, wasted because of carelessness. As you've probably figured it out, I did just that. I swallowed my nightlock, a time bomb the size of a pill. But before you leave, here's where I get to ask for you to stay. Let's bring it back to the beginning though, most stories seem to work better that way. When I was a toddler it was just my Dad and I living together, so we moved around a few times. My dad also had another son who stayed with his biological mother in California. Every now and te we would go down there to visit him for a bit. One of these visits in particular had a interseting turn of events. It was scary at the time, but now , every time Iook back on it I cant help but lagh a little bit. My Dad and I were on the road down to Cali, and it was after dinner time, dinner being a kids meal from McDonalds, the sun was setting and my Dad pulls out a pack of Extra Peppermint Gum. I look and watch as he puts a stick of blue mysterious wonder in his mouth, wishing I too had one. I ask im for a piece and he hands me a piece, showing me how to unwrap it, knowing I would just eat it with the foil, and tells me some of the dangers to swallowing it being the fact I was only 3 at the time. I listen and do as he says intently making sure to not miss one thing. Finally the beautiful peppermint flavor splashes across my toungue as I take the first bite into a whole new, yet dangerous world. As the sun sets we're cruising on the rod looking for a rest stop, our eyes dropping, him trying to be safe about it, and me hardly trying because I was too focused on not swallowing my tiny, blue, factory of deadly, yet heavenly flavor making properties. The sun had finally set and the night was upon us, when we had finally found one. My Dad woke me up and we got out of the truck headed straight for the garbage can, our gum having ceased to make it's devine flavors. As we drew closer to the can realization hit me like a punch to the face. I had oficially signed my death warrant. I had swalowed my gum. Trembling as we came closer, I watched my Father spit his gum out. My turn came and having swallowed it, made an attempt to mask it by spitting pure saliva into the can. Doing this only had one shot, you either had a good enough sized ball of spit escape your mouth or you didn't. Halfway from my mouth o the can, my nightmare became worse. It was not big enough. Trying to hide it I start walking to the bathrom when my Dad asks why I didn't spit my gum out. I stopped dead in my tracs and turned around like I was an innocent in a horror movie, trning around to find the preadator right behind them. I was terrified of my father's yelling at the time so I wished the gum started working before I had to spit the truth out. It didn't happen. Crying, I turned to him and attempted to force the words out of my mouth, failing halfway through my sentence. He finished it for me. Scared of any following events, I frantically, in my toddler voice, apollogise so much my brain hit the loop switch. After calming me down, he just shakes his head in dissapointment, tells me not to do it again and takes my wee little hand, guiding me to the bathroom on legs of jello. Once we were back int the truck I ask him if I was going to die. He looked at me and laughed, telling me it won't kill me, and that those things were said to help make sure I didn't swallow any of it. I immediatley felt better, and closed my eyes to the best-in-the-truck nap ever.
Every year we make resolutions to help ourselves improve. We make resolutions so we can feel better about ourselves, to "look better". To me resolutions are pointless, mainstream, time-wasting, whatever you want to call it. Why? Because we make these "life gols" and hardly ever follow through with them. We last about a few weeks or a month, but harldy ever a full year. For people who hate change, like me, it's even harder. It can become extremely difficult to follow through with just one reslution. So I decided to play with these resolutions and cme up with just one. Getting a job. I figured that if I get a job, I'll be more motivated to pass my classes, I'll want to work on getting my drivers license. If I do those maybe I'll be more considerate of how I spend my money. Well the opportunity came for me to apply for a job and I did. I got hired on the spot. I got to work parking/traffic at the Blazers vs Warriors game on Friday. I'm already considering just saving my first paycheck for gas money and food (at work). By doing that one little resolution I am able to do a lot of little things that will make for a bigger future ahead of me. I still don't like making resolutions but making little ones like that can help anyone a lot!
We should all stop and think. We should think about other countries. But not just any other country, third world countries. To think that we fellow Americans complain everyday about how we "suffer", or "don't get enough food or water", or "are always poor and unable to support a family because we just don't feel like getting off our lazy asses". To think that we as Americans "feel sad and depressed one day, so maybe we should go kill ourselves because nobody cares about us". That we Americans don't think what we have is good enough so we go get more and waste money on stuff we don't need. We Americans are basically a greedy country that thinks we can get whatever we want because we need useless junk over our survival and growth of a healthy nation.
We as Americans barley think about third world countries that risk their lives just to go to school. Those countries actually do suffer lack of resources for survival. These countries also tend to have less suicide than in America. They suffer everyday and might feel depressed, but they learn to fight it because they know that in the end all of what they've done will be worth it. The third world countries are an everyday living proof of how We Americans are an insecure society. They are models of what perfect families, and community should be and look like. They are living proof that we don't need fancy gadgets to live our everyday lives. My mom has told me several times a simple yet powerful phrase that until high school, I would blow off thinking its meaning is stupid. She would always tell me "A little goes a long ways Shawn. Remember that." Third world countries are living simple phrase everyday. Being able to survive without all of the junk that we Americans have. Some barley even have electricity, let alone cell phones, or iPads, iPods, etcetera, etcetera. So stop. Think. Before you complain about something, think about all that you have compared to ohters. Before you go and buy more junk, or throw out unwanted leftovers, or dont get something, or if you dont want to go to school, stop and think that other people in other countires would die for all of that. Have a nice day! "Be the change you wish to see in the world"-Ghandi
to me this quote means that if we want a better society, we have to set the better example for the generations to come and try to minimize all the bad things in life. Sure they'll never go away but you can keep them at bay by making the right decisions. It may be harder to do good things in life than the bad ones but if you want a positive change you have to try your best everyday. Though if you really want to you can put to work a negative change in the world. It would be highly disregarded against but I'm sure you could do it. This quote also reminds me of a verse in the Bible that has the same meaning:
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